Everything to Nothing

How can we go from spending so much time together to end as strangers no longer wanting to connect with one another?

Often for many of us when a relationship ends, we feel alone with our grief, seduced by despair, confusion, sadness, sometimes even anger.

But what is happening within the depths of these emotions and how can we learn to be grateful for this opportunity to grow?

Like many, I have experienced relationship endings at numerous times throughout my life, some have provided relief, whilst others have caused a disconnection with myself, but ultimately all have guided me to evolve. 

How can we navigate ourselves through these emotional experiences?

How can we reconnect to our own vulnerabilities and welcome the internal growth that can transform us?

When in a relationship how can we remain present to trusting a partner when we have previously been deeply hurt?

Often, it all begins in our childhood and how we perceived the relationship we had with our parents. Whatever we experienced then and did not share with our parents will later resurface as emotional wounds in our adult relationships.

So what is the end of a relationship and why does it have such an impact on us?

Often when two people meet, they hold an intention, which is shared, becoming the foundation for their relationship. But if this intention challenges memories from childhood the word ‘intention’ holds a different meaning and becomes ‘In tension.’

Witnessing this tension is the key to opening the doors of our emotional growth. By feeling the core presence of this tension we can be present to our deep feelings. What was once invisible becomes visible as our unconscious meets our conscious.

This commitment to open our hearts not just for our partners but more so for our own awareness invites us to deepen our intention through healing our tension.

Many of us receive very little guidance around relationships other than our own experiences. Often our initial teachers are our parents or peers and if we do not learn the presence of love from them we can become easily confused and afraid of commitment.

Searching for love that we never received can cause to follow patterns that we witnessed in our childhoods believing this is a normal way to be. But this search is often seduced by unresolved wounds, fear of being seen, being judged or criticised and believing we are unlovable. Often all these emotional beliefs were present in our childhoods, never resolved by sharing our feelings and so were never healed. 

But when we bring our awareness to these wounds we can begin to find peace. As we resolve the tensions inside us we can invite more conscious intentions, reuniting the loving harmony we so deserve with our authentic sacred selves. We can learn to become more consciously present both in fear and freedom opening our hearts to receive the loving and trusting relationships we yearn for.

And this is the journey where everything we believed becomes nothing and we can begin again. Because when we heal, we lovingly learn that what we thought we wanted is what we needed as children. So, when we allow this to be healed and released we reach the conscious end of our own suffering.

To have nothing is to have everything, because we can learn to let go and accept that we possibly never received the love we needed in our childhood and we can learn to love ourselves. Love will always create a trigger because ultimately it is this love that loves us so deeply it reminds us that we learned to numb our own feelings from such a young age. And because this numbing was never loved, it was never felt and so this numbness continued with a belief that we could never feel it. And this fear of feeling has to end.

But endings are always beginnings and within this is the key to connect to our evolutionary awareness, which can guide us to grow. And this is where we begin to find our everything, because we find ourselves, no longer disappearing, but forever reappearing again and again and again. 

From everything to nothing is a way to let go.
From everything to nothing is the love we can know. 
From everything to nothing is the love we can show.    

© Pete Bengry 2025

Credit to myself for designing this image.