When a Child Shares Love

When love is all you know, love is all you show.

But what happens if you share love as a child and it is never held safely so you can immerse yourself within its presence. It becomes a place of confusion, especially when love is shared to help others but never reflected back. 

If love is distorted by manipulation, it will hide and lose its presence from purity into pain. As children we were all physically small, but energetically we were emotionally expansive. And this is where our vulnerability lies, because we learned to explore our world through emotion. We sensed our boundaries with a deep intuitive trust that we shared with others, holding the belief that they would witness our world in the same way.

But when we learned that others did not witness this world in the same way we began to hide our emotions, shrinking ourselves as a way keep us safe. Sometimes we even forgot about ourselves and learned that if we changed to become what others wanted we would receive more love. So we learned to close our emotional boundaries, hiding our loving hearts from the world. And it is here where we begin to walk through the corridors of confusion. These sacred parts of ourselves become lost and our authentic selves that simply wish to be heard, understood and seen slowly learn to hide.

And when we no longer feel heard, understood or seen we stop sharing our loving light, because the threat of showing ourselves is too great. It becomes a risk to share our true feelings to a parent who does not see us in our authentic light. So we shrink and hide within the boundaries of our own protection.

And this is the power of our deep inner love keeping us safe from harm.

When I began training with Gabor Maté, learning and practising his Compassionate Inquiry approach, I discovered that many of my clients stopped sharing their feelings with their parents when they were children. They each carried a strong belief that their parents were unable to hold them or even hear them. So, they shut themselves down and learned to hide. Doing so, ultimately suppressed their own authentic feelings as the risk of exposing them was too great. This meant that their feelings remained isolated in their small bodies and minds.

I know that this is exactly what happened to me when I was a child. It was so painful to be vulnerable and show myself that the only way to be was to suppress and hide my own feelings. The emotional neglect I experienced as a child created an unconscious pattern where I began to neglect myself as an adult. This eventually caused a disconnection with my authentic self, which made me continue to shrink inside as this was a memory of how I survived my childhood.

To witness this pattern I had learned as a child reconnected me to my own authentic awareness towards self love. As I worked through my own process of self healing I began to witness both the purity and the pain within these experiences. This awareness reunited me to my inner most loving soulful self. I compassionately learned that throughout my childhood I had hidden my true self within the boundaries of protection. But because I had never shared my feelings with those whom I loved, I had become an unconscious prisoner to my own pain. 

One of the most compassionate learnings I have experienced is seeing this act of hiding was protecting the most beautiful parts of me, which were so dearly loved. I protected my inner wisdom, my self love, my loving light, finding a room to rest in the corridors of confusion.

This is one the most authentic realisations of the power and presence of my inner love. To welcome this deeply and heal the relationship I have with my authentic soulful self. This depth of love never left, it just learned to hide and it is always within us, if we are willing to welcome it. 

Because, when we begin to heal ourselves, we reconnect to the sacred awareness that this act of love protected our innocence, our vitality, our authenticity, our true nature. And what was once suppressed, can now surface as our true essence of being.

Of course this essence was always there, but its purity was shrouded in pain and this protection guided us to hide. To reunite with this purity, we need to compassionately give space for the pain to be felt and released.

I know I protected myself throughout my childhood and I also know I suppressed my true self, becoming a prisoner to my own unfelt pain throughout my adulthood. This loving gift of compassionate awareness allows me to reconnect and feel what I once experienced before the pain arrived. Because in order to return to purity, I have to walk through the pain of protection. This devotional practice of feeling is the most gracious gift I can both receive and share.

It is not just reconnecting to my inner child, it is reconnecting to my soulful self honouring all that I am, in harmony and happiness for my heartfelt life. 

It is embracing or releasing every action in my life, whether in purity or pain and embodying the essential wisdom that exists within.

For love is my way, each and everyday.

To learn more about how I can support you safely reconnect to your inner authenticity please read more about my Inessence sessions.

You are always beautiful and you were born to shine.

© Pete Bengry 2025

Credit to myself for designing this image.