The unconscious act of hiding ones vulnerability, with the belief that avoidance is better than being seen and exposing the authentic depths from the soul.

One afternoon I went walking, whilst listening to the audiobook of The Red Book, by Carl Jung. As I listened to this particular chapter, I deeply witnessed myself within the spirit of the depths. As I walked, I immersed myself into every word spoken and in this chapter I understood the reality of the internal battle men experience. But rather than referring to men, I share this reflection both to myself and about myself.

I am not going to quote anything from Carl Jung as I sense my own connection to the spirit of the depths, which is my surrender to listen and learn. But this listening is beyond my mind, because if I am listening with my mind I am perceiving the spirit of the depths through my experiences and they will influence my perception. So, for me the spirit of the depths is my own depth rising, which for many years in my life I have tried so hard to ignore.

Carl Jung at times refers to the spirit of the depths as female. I know that whenever I have began to share my feelings, especially within a relationship I would hide my face as an attempt to hide myself from myself. The internal judgements would surface and sabotage my speech, my presence, even my longing to be held and loved within this vulnerable state of being.

Topless black man with a black cloth covering his face standing against a dark background, with the intention to not be seen and share his vulnerability with openness and trust receiving wisdom from the spirit of his depths.

So, as I listened to Carl Jung’s experiences with the ‘Spirit of the Depths’ I witnessed the tragic behaviours of many man and the internal battles that are not always won, often because they are never faced. I sense the presence of the spirit of the depths as consciousness wishing to rise, but is being forced to drown in the unconscious. This deliberate act of suppressing the sensations to feel is seduced by the avoidance to enter the depths of the true wisdom within.

For me, this avoidance to feel the depths of my own pain has been a challenge I have experienced my entire life.
It is exhausting battling with this avoidance to feel as it disconnects me from my authentic self. But the longer I avoid, the longer I remain in the darkness.

So why am I sharing so vulnerably now in this reflection?

The answer is simple, being a man I know what it feels like to avoid feelings. I know I have spent years of my life, dissociating from myself, battling with the spirit of my own depths. Having deepened my relationship with my own depths, I begin to trust the wisdom within these depths, by feeling, listening and learning. By doing so, I welcome the transformational gifts that surface from these forever guiding me towards my soulful self.

If I can sit with my own presence, being open to the spirit of my own depths and witness the way to welcome this wisdom, I can grow. I can be guided by reading words in a book, or listening to speeches from a teacher, but ultimately it is me who is rising from my own depths. It is here I begin inviting and connecting to my own essence.

To the spirit of my depths, I consciously welcome you, not in battle, avoidance, shame or disagreement. I surrender to your presence, receiving your wisdom with the guidance that will make me whole.

To the spirit of the depths, I thank you.

Credit to FETHI BOUHAOUCHINE for image

The Spirit of the Depths

The unconscious act of hiding ones vulnerability, with the belief that avoidance is better than being seen and exposing the authentic depths from the soul.

Is it safe?